Requiem of Memories
by Shurikan-NoS
Summary: Squall is slipping into a madness formed by his own memories, can Rinoa stop the unwilling descent? ch7 up Please r
1. Descent

I don't own squaresoft or any of the other stuff, though I would like to own Rinoa for a couple days :)

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1. Descent into Memory

Squall rushed through the house, the grey stone walls of the little orphanage on Centra blurring together in

his tear-eyed vision. "Maaa-troon?" he called again and again "Maaa-troon, he rushed up to her like a black

streak "Where's sis matron?" she turned around, gazing out the window, and though Squall couldn't see, he knew she was crying. "sis…

is… gone." Squall, although very affectionate, had always been quiet, and Edea thought it was strange to see him so shocked at

something like 'sis' leaving. She could see a rift growing through his very heart.

13 years later

Here he was. Staring out the very window, where so long ago, Matron had told him of Ellone's imminent departure. A single sigh

escaped his lips. To Rinoa standing behind him, such a noise from squall sounded more like a whine of pain. "Squall, are you… okay?"

This turned him around with a light rustle. The penetrating eyes fixed on her, she knew now why people seemed to fear this gaze in anger.

She saw, instead, love. It had been there since he had woken her up in Timber. Now, it had only intensified. After defeating ultimecia,

they had decided to in a much more casual sense of the word, elope. Here they stood, in the orphanage, and Squall with a tear in his eye,

and Rinoa with all the respect a sorceress garners. "… yes.." he turned around, almost mechanically, to stare at the flowers that were

imprinted in her memory, and hopefully his. Here they stood, among a lake of memories, and Rinoa thought she saw a single bead of

moisture fall from his face, and hit the floor. Roiling in an inner agony all his own, the past and present melded together, and Squall began

his descent into an inner madness, which maybe even love could not save him from.

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sorry for the short chapter, and the weird spacing, I got a new computer

ch2. coming up: Lifeline


	2. Lifeline PtI

Again… I obviously don't own squaresoft or anything, or else I'd be rich, right?

Again, new format, for a new type of typing program.

"Bleh" is speaking

"_Bleh_" is thought

Chapter 2:Lifeline pt.I

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The memories flooded to him like a river, washing through his mind. He was only a child again.

"sis"

"Sis"

"SIS!"

He only saw a dark house, he was running through grey walls again. And then he saw her.Sitting on her bed, reading a bright yellow book. Her soft green eyes flicked up to him, the dark hair coming out in little strands as it moved.

"yes, squall?"

"Sis, Quisty said Seifer couldn't hit me with a stick, and then he hit me anyway, and then

Quisty started yelling at him and…" he continued on like this for some time.

"squall… please, your getting older, you need to resolve your own issues."

"but sis!" He yelled at the slightly older girl "will you at least play with me? You know that cool yellow truck…" again he went off

Ellone listened to his small-child jabber, and though she only existed in his mind, he found solitude in the fact that she was finally back for him to talk to.

----------------------------------------At Edea's Orphanage------------------------------------------

Worried probably didn't fit the description as Rinoa crouched over Squalls prone form. He mumbled 'sis' over and over again. _ahh_… she thought to herself… _maybe Ellone is taking him to the past again? _The gray stone floor seemed to be to cold, and the room to dark. Her shadow seemed to stretch to long. She stood up, moving her cramped muscles for the first time in hours, and relized it was already night

"How the hell…"

And then she realized. She had been standing over him for almost the entire day, sunrise to sunset.

Something was VERY wrong.

---------------------------------------In Squalls memory----------------------------------------------

He was running, through a field of bright yellow flowers, his prize, Ellone's skirt tie, was clutched in his small hand and he laughed as she chased him. The aroma was pleasant, and the sky seemed so blue it took up his small corner of the world.

"COME BACK HERE!" Ellone bellowed behind him, suppressing and already rampant giggle. She had been forced to wear one of matrons dresses to chase after him, and the thin fabric was already torn around the thin edges.

"Squall, your getting' the coochie-coochie treatment when I catch you!

All he did was giggle more.

Of course, Squalls memory was riddled with sadness. This day was no exception. Among the yellow morning blossoms, there lurked something that would pose no threat to his future seeD self. But now, Squall, in his deceiving memories, would experience the second tragedy, paralleled only by the death of his parents. Before, loomed, a hideous face, and a writhing snakelike body. A Geezard. He stopped dead. Turning around, he ran all out towards Ellone.

"Sis! Sis! Look out!"

She looked up suddenly, noticing he had changed direction quickly. And was that a ripple in the flowers behind him? Or the wind. His small charging form collided with her at chest-level.

"Sis, there's a monster! And it's scary and big and red"

"A monster?"

"YEA, and its right behin-"

Everything was drowned out in a roaring ball of fire. The geezard leaped onto Ellone, about to bring its fatal claws to bear, when it was flung off by an invisible force. Lightning met it halfway to the ground. It fell and moved no more. Ellone rocked back and forth on the ground, her face a pasty white and holding her near-severed leg. Matron rushed up with a speed that belied her small body.

She hit the clearing just as Ellone's first shrill scream began to echo across the hills of Centra, just as Squall began to scream in the same manner, seeing Ellone so badly hurt. This would confine her to weeks in bed.

Matron screamed just as loud.

---------------------------------------The Orphanage--------------------------------------------------

Rinoa rocked back in forth in way very reminiscent of Ellone, listening to Squalls bone-jarring roars of fury and pain, not knowing what to do. She fell asleep listening to the screaming. She didn't hear it stop, nor did she see him step up, and with glazed, wondrous, puppy-dog eyes, stare around him. He walked out of the house.

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wow, I feel like I'm on a writing streak or something. Coming up next: lifeline ptII


	3. Lifeline PTII

Okay… Updates have been coming rapidly, so heres chapter 3:

Lifeline PtII

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Rinoa kneeled over his prone form, tears streaming down her cheeks. He had managed to get up and stumble blindly through the open door, and halfway down the path when he had met unexpected resistance. A rock. She though to herself: _A sorceress, yes that's just great, not only did I lose all my friends, but the only person who's ever truly LOVED me (excluding Seifer) is now slipping into madness. At least…_

She almost screamed with joy

A single thread of her power, that which was unbridled, slipped into his mind. A whirling vortex of madness and decay hit her. There was one strange thing…Memories could be overwhelming, as she remembered quite well, when she had been sitting in Galbadia garden's waiting room and had heard the news of Seifers 'execution' they had definitely come back in flood. But this, was organized. It was like a maelstrom through his mind. Someone was rending his binds to reality. Someone very real.

-----------------------------------------Squalls Memory-----------------------------------------------

He loved this moment. This was the moment that, every night, Sis came out of her room to eat. Lately, she only needed a cane to get around instead of those bulky crutches. She was happy and lively as ever, although the quite obvious boredom of sitting in her room reading was not the most exciting thing she could do.

"Sis', Siiiis', dinner time"

"Okay Squall, just a second."

She hobbled out of the door on crutches, and of course, she was as vibrant as ever, drawing all the children around her. The dinner was a great one, for it seemed that even during the great Sorceress war, where famine abounded in Centra, Matron always had enough food for a veritable feast. Roast duck with scrambled eggs. Mustard greens, wild rice, corn, and enough potatoes for any of the children. She was beloved by all, but still very strict. A conversation with Ellone brought up a lesson for all of them, which made them fleetingly angry at sis'.

"And so , if you can assume that EAD is an angle of less than 90 degrees… She droned on for an entire hour. They still enjoyed, for losing their parents had made them all hungry for social contact.

Quite suddenly, Squall was ripped from his chair.

A streak of black lightning tore through the room. The colors started to dissilve, and everything seemed to literally fray at the edges. And then it all went black…

----------------------------------------Rinoa------------------------------------------------------------It jolted Squall awake, finally. He sat up and slowly blinked his eyes, first in the desire to escape from sleep, and then in awe at his surroundings.

"H-How…"

It was the first time she had ever seen him at a loss for words.

"How"

"I have an explanation to give." She said softly.

Yo , another chapter done! Continued on chapter 4: Lifeline Pt. III FINAL


	4. Lifeline PTIII FINAL

ok... PEANUT BUTTER UPDATE TIME!

(sorry about that) heres chapter 4!

Lifeline PTIII Final

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Rinoa stood over Squall, the look on his face would have been comical if not for the seriousness of the situation. She was amazed also that he had suddenly looked up and alert, as though nothing had happened.

"Its... ok, just... a dream."

So finally, she divulged the secrets of the chaotic madness of his mind.

Her soft laughter drifted out across the hundreds of acres of Centra that surrounded them.

"More like chaotic reminiscent torture"

He seemed to chew over her words, because, to him, they seemed... odd.

"The strangest part was, you seemed completely happy."

"I was... Home"

She faltered, and the stream of tears that she thought had finally stopped, threatened to spread across her face again.

The next way he replied was a crushing embrace.

"Don't worry, you're a sorceress, and I... rely... on..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. It was the one thing that, his entire life, he had desired to say, and so it became... unreachable.

Before she could say another thing, he was pulled back to his dream world. His head hit the ground heavily. She said nothing. With a sigh, she had only one thought.

"_Will i have to do this his entire life? pull him back to me again and again, until i go to sleep and lose him again?" _

She sighed and shifted her weight, sending a thread of her power into his chaotic mind again. This time she was hit with an avalanche of pain. She felt lightning rattling her body, thunder jarring her bones. Her bones seemed to splinter again, and again. Finally, mercifully, it stopped. And there she lay, unconscious, while Squall was swallowed again.

------------------------------------------------Squalls Memory---------------------------------------------

The interrupted dinner returned, but everyone else seemed to notice nothing.

"Squall, are you okay?"

"Yes matwon, i just dozed off..."

Her mathematical lecture continued, but Squall couldn't helo but feel oddly... detached.

it seemed as if he watched the merry room with the oak table, and the luscious food, steaming in massive piles upon the platters. But this night, something else would happen, the very same reason everyones beloved 'Sis' would leave.

A knock upon the door.

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Sorry for the (comparitevely) short chapter. I hope you like the story arc. Next: Chapter five

Night of Pleasure, Night of Pain.


	5. Night of Pleasure, Night of Pain

Ha ha! Here it comes to save the day!

Now…

There were a LOT of misunderstandings, but at the end of an arc, I always write FINAL (don't know about u tho) okay then, getting all warm and fuzzy!

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CH.5:Night of Pleasure, Night of Pain

Squall's mind had been a blur for the last week. Over and over again, Rinoa had awoken him from this strange thing that he supposed was the beginning of madness. After the first day, she had literally sat on top of him so she could take a nap. Second, They had taken to the Ragnorak, and Selphie (as always) accompanied by Irvine, used the ships equipment to scan his head. Third day: As the collapses became more frequent, his life was playing out in slow motion before his re-examining eyes. The only thing's he ever mumbled in his sleep sounded like pleading, but a constant stream of tears flowed from his and Rinoa's. By the fourth day, only three days ago,they had literally chained him down for several hours after he thrashed so badly that he fell off his now almost

permanent metal examining table.By day five, well Squall didn't care anymore. Neither did he for day six, it was all gone in the light of his strange descent

"Squall…" Rinoa coming into his room, hoping that maybe this would be one of his more… lucid moments.

"Yes…"

"Well… We've decided that we should go to Laguna, because Dr. Odine could probably figure out what to do."

"Alri---

He cut out, and was sucked to his madness within

------------------------------------------Squalls Memory---------------------------------------------

Here I am, yet again, among this amazing paradise 

His thoughts were always clouded in his mind, and he only knew this when he was conscious. To him, now, this was rapture. Of course, in one week, he had seen every one of his failure's, His great successes, and of course, many other things. Now, something he had probably repressed out of guilt surfaced. He was sitting in the secret area, a girl he didn't know was embracing him, a look of contentment of her face. He was about 14,

Her golden hair was tied up, her sharp raptor gaze focused from between elegant goled wired glasses. Normally, she looked as if she could cut ice with her eyes. They were more ready to melt butter. And now he understood.

He rapidly jumped a few years through his mind, something that happened quite frequently, at least now. This was a different memory, only a few months old, when they had never heard of Ultimecia, and Edea was barely a nagging problem. Him, and those he had come to know as his friends were standing at the beach at Edea's orphanage

"I thought it was love, so naturally I hid it, I mean it was inappropriate, for an instructor."

Quistis was standing, facing the ocean, her demeanor dropped sharply.

"Oh well"

And then, it was over, he was sucked back to the room, Rinoa standing over him with her eyes tightly closed and a look of concentration on her face.

"Squall… why?"

"We both don't know, that's why we're going to laguna…

He trailed off. This wasn't what she meant.

"You said… Quistis, I… love you."

Fire shot through every vain in his body. He could fell her falling, through a pit into the depths of what she thought was his betrayal.

"That was, a… long time ago"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! DAMN IT!"

She burst out of the room in a horrible fit of rage, the door, even though it was steel, splintering before her, as if were a wall of paper-mache . The pieces clattered to the floor, and he could hear her running, sobbing, through the rooms after it.

Was she that suspicious of him? Did Greaver mean nothing? Did him saving her from Esthar mean nothing? Did Adel mean nothing? DID EVERY DAMN THING HE HAD EVER DONE FOR HER MEAN NOTHING? White hot anger, coursed through him, pounding through his head, racing through his veins, and then there was calm, and suddenly, something he had not felt for so long, since October, only a year ago, standing beside Quistis in the secret area, when he had started to have hope.

…

…

…

Sadness

The inundating cold wash, that meant he was unbearably alone in the world again, was back. And this time, madness or not, it would last forever.

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Oh, this is funny. I had proverbial 'Typers Block' for quite a while. I would like to say I was inspired, but naw, I just sat down and typed. Like it? Up next CH.5 debt of tears


	6. Debt of Tears

ok... for those of you who have actually read this fic, sorry for the long upbate (about eight months) for those of you who haven't: I DONT OWN SQUARESOFT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS

ok... here we go...

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Chapter 5

Debt of Tears

Squall sunk forward deeper, moving his arms almost as if he were swimming. Through the gray fog came a blur... yes.

It was some sort of creature, It let out a roar like none he had ever heard. Bulging muscles knotted its arms as it reached forward to him. Squall knew instinctually that he had a weapon... He lifted his gunblade,

but found that he couldn't.

His arms were that of a five-year-old, what he had become used to the strength that came with age. But now, he could barely budge the fourty-some pounds of the lionheart. The creature rushed forward, its fury almost a palpable force. It was moving so quickly, and he could do nothing. He waited for hisimpending doom.

There was a single instant like something reuniting with his soul.

and he realized the truth

this beast, the one inside, which threatened to destroy him, was charging not at him, but a thin figure lying on the grass in front

of him, but a single figure lying in front of him. the prone blue form stirred slightly, and gave a gasping breath. The sights and colors of Deling City rushed up to him, and he realized that Irvine stod by his side, his normally lax face now truly worried.

He charged forward, his body responding to his call, and straining to heed it still. Out of pure reflex, he exerted pressure on the trigger, putting a 22. shell into collarbone of the beast, while at the same time slashing it across the flank.

And now it was all falling... falling.

He sat up, for the first time conscious without the aid of Rinoa. He blinked, then, he carefully extricated himself from the nest of straps that held him to the table. Stretching, he slid off of the tableand walked torward the door, or doorframe, really, because the solid steel door had been blown off by its hinges. From the inside out. From the side that he had been on.

Wondering already, he peered through the door.

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duh-duh-duh!!!

what happens next? find out in the next chapter: Awakening


	7. Dual Lives

Alrighty, and lets get going!Okay, so like, enter Laguna and Julia. (don't know why, just wanted to try it out, go ahead and tell me how you feel about it, I've got an alternate chapter ready)

shuffles, not quite knowing what to do

…

lets go!

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CH.5 Debt of Tears

Rinoa's face was awash with tears, no matter what she did. Of course, to her, betrayal was so evident, she almost wanted to die, on that spot. And then, her own memories did some things of their own, and she remembered the many instances. The instances where, she had thought someone finally cared for her, although some of them were rather personal to her authors note: this is obviously to protect my fairly dubious rating--note within note: later chapters--anyway, I don't think you want her reminiscing about THAT, do you?

She held them cherished. But, her fury outweighed anything she could ever feel, while standing alone on this brodge, looking at the rushing ocean beneath her, in the distance, the continent of Esthar rushed up to meet their high speed.

She walked out the door

A mumbled word

"Time to pay the debt"

--------------------------------------------Squalls memory's------------------------------------------

A single feather floated onto an outstretched palm, the hand closed. A bright flash of light. Now, Seifer was standing over his, blade poised, he brought it down with power fueled with hatred and almost sibling rivalry. Another flash, and their matron stood before them, now melting into the floor. The memories moved piece by piece, going on for hours until fnially, another memory could continue. And the tiny, unharried, part of his mind, not caught up in the bliss of excitement, speed, and frenzy, thought one thing

I promised.

I'll be there

With that, he could not allow it. This was the end of this ridiculous charade. He picked himself up off of the supporting metal, and walked out the door.

-------------------------------------------A consciousness, yet, no one------------------------------The body was falling, the bright blue garment pooled out behind it in the continuous rush of wind

"Why?"

The thoughts racing through its head were not enough to save it now. This was the end. She remembered vaguely, her name had been… what had It been?

That wasn't important anymore

Squall was happy, Everyone else was happy, so obviously, she was simply and extra piece. She remembered Trabia. She had stood on the ruined basketball course, and confessed the feelings that she had had for so long.

"It's like I'm on a different wavelength, and when I catch up, its like, where is everyone, and will they all be here when I get back?"

So she plummeted towards the dusky, variegated forest that stood between the Ragnorak, her, and the earth. She was overcome by a marvelous sensation. Falling is, happy, isn't it?

And then she heard the voice.

---------------------------------------Another place, another time-----------------------------------

Julia jerked awake, drenched in sweat.

"Laguna…" The form sitting next to her continued to snore softly

"LAGUNA"

He stirred slowly, muttering something about waffles

"hmmm…"

I

"I had that dream about falling again, you know that horrible one, where I see red, and blue, and then I'm falling, but I have long, black hair, and then a forest…" She seemed to be almost hysterical about it, unaware that Laguna was peacefully slumbering yet again.

She drifted back to sleep.

When she awoke in the morning, she realized two things. One, waffles, and two, it was a glorious Autumn day, the sunlight cascaded forward in a pillar of warmth through the window and across the white satin sheetes of the bed in the high-rise apartment. Moving slowly, she walked down the stairs for breakfast. Laguna stood by the oven, the newest edition on the magazine, Timber Maniacs, in his hand, and flipping over waffles with the other.

"Hey, see you're up"

"Yah…"

It was a comfortable silence. They had moved in together only a couple weeks ago, tired of meeting all the time. Laguna had for a long time had aspirations to quit the Galbadian military, but because it was the only paying job he had, he kept it.

"So, Kiros and Ward are droppin' by in a couple hours, we've got to patrol this new Esthar hell-prison, or something like that"

"Really? Well then, want to tell me what it's called? This "hell-prison?"

"Lunatic Panacea, or something like that, I think it sounds like a mental institution, but me and a couple other guys have a pot goin' to see what it really is."

"Very nice"

Though they ate breakfast in silence, partly because of Laguna's 'balance' waffles, which were burnt on the outside but frozen on the inside, they were very comfortable together.

Ward had once said that anyone unlucky enough to put a finger between them, would lose there hand and probably an arm before they could turn and run.

But now, as in Squalls memory before, there came a knock on the door, and EVERYTHING would soon change.

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Okay, so like, enter Laguna and Julia. And a whole two months on an update. Well, it's bound to happen


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